one of the times we were tangled together,
nothing separating us,
your head on my chest,
you asked me—
“why is your heart beating so fast?”
and I told you it was just anxiety
that it was just something it did
I didn’t say that I felt lighter than I ever had.
That my heart was just taking its chance to beat freely.
That I saw you smile whenever I closed my eyes.
That I felt more alive beside you than I ever did on my own.
But as summer fades into fall,
I wonder if my heart knew something I didn’t.
Maybe it knew you didn’t mean it,
that I was standing on hollow words and promises.
Maybe it was trying to warn me,
but I was too caught up in the steady beat of yours to hear mine.
Maybe I was too busy kissing the warmth you gave me,
to realize that the reality I was chasing wasn’t real at all.