one of the times we were tangled together,

nothing separating us,

your head on my chest,

you asked me—

“why is your heart beating so fast?”

–

–

and I told you it was just anxiety

that it was just something it did

–

–

I didn’t say that I felt lighter than I ever had.

That my heart was just taking its chance to beat freely.

That I saw you smile whenever I closed my eyes.

That I felt more alive beside you than I ever did on my own.

–

–

But as summer fades into fall,

I wonder if my heart knew something I didn’t.

Maybe it knew you didn’t mean it,

that I was standing on hollow words and promises.

–

–

Maybe it was trying to warn me,

but I was too caught up in the steady beat of yours to hear mine.

Maybe I was too busy kissing the warmth you gave me,

to realize that the reality I was chasing wasn’t real at all.